ACCENTUATE THE POSITIVE: Affirmations to Help with Grief

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Affirmations are positive thoughts or expressions said with the express purpose of altering your thinking processes. It is a way to “accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, and latch on to the affirmative” with thanks to lyricist, Johnny Mercer. When Peter died, I needed to find something encouraging to use as a mantra, to help me move forward. Sometimes, I used humor, as is my habit, and sometimes, I used whatever crumb of gratitude I could find before me to help me find a more optimistic attitude to cope with my grief. Instead of saying, “I will never be happy again,” I might say “if I work through my grief, maybe I can find some peace and happiness in my future.”

I recommend finding a quiet spot and listing a few things that come to mind. Be peaceful and then add more ideas as you think of them during the day. Take time to customize your affirmations and post them around the house if you need. Here are a few ideas to help you get started:

· I am finding strength in myself as I grieve.

· I exorcise the belief that I will never recover from this loneliness. Bye bye and good riddance to that stupid idea!

· I absolve myself from all guilt, except for downing a pint of chocolate ice cream.

· I forgive myself for not being perfect. Now this one is hard!

· I am learning to heal my inner child and make her feel that she has not been abandoned.

· I know that it is great to see an end to my journey of grief but in the end, it is the journey that matters.

· I am trying to be open to new ideas, with a little prodding, and a lot of deep breaths.

· It’s all about the present! I must allow myself to live fully in the present.

· I am forever changed. I will never be the same person and that is okay for now. To quote Heraclitus: “no man ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and he’s not the same man.”

· When I am alone, I will remember that I am with a cool person, me!

· I know that my heart will ache more on anniversary dates and holidays so I will make preparations to avoid being blindsided.

· I pledge to be gentle with myself as I plow through grief.

· I am entitled to take breaks from grief. Grief is totally exhausting and I need to recoup to travel forward.

· I vow to dump all my feelings of “it shouldn’t have happened to me.” It did happen, it sucks, and I am coping.

· I am shattered but I am not broken!

· I will use my voice to ask for help.

· I know that my support system is there for me forever! Team Laurie is my rock.

· I am loved. I know it, and treasure it.

· Happy memories of Peter are becoming comforting rather than upsetting.

· I am aware that helping others with their lives will help me to find hopefulness in my own life.

· I am finding gratitude by living the life my husband would have wanted me to live. I will honor our love, not my loss.

· Slowly but surely, I am making a new life for myself.

· I claim my power. I am worthy. I matter. I can do this!

· I choose to survive with a nod to Gloria Gaynor!

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