DON’T IT ALWAYS SEEM TO GO THAT YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’VE GOT TILL IT’S GONE

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 In Blog

Joni Mitchell captured the sentiment of gratitude in her song Big Yellow Taxi, half a century ago: “Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.” Living through this pandemic has taught us that we grieve for the life we had before the virus plagued our universe. We are suddenly questioning the gratitude we felt for the good parts of life.  Why didn’t we treasure and enjoy the times when we moved freely without fear of a virus?  Why didn’t we anticipate the possibility of being robbed of our comforts? Why didn’t we savor the halcyon days, in anticipation of the loss of our freedom to move about? Why didn’t we value a hug or even a handshake?

Questioning our loss is part of the grieving process. As a widow, suddenly thrust into loss, I grieve for the past, when I should have treasured our life together.  I grieve for the present, when I would have enjoyed all the good times.  And I certainly grieve for the future, which is gloomier without Peter by my side.

Those of us who live alone are literally bereft.  Stress is constant, except during cocktail time when we can blur the pain. We can meet on Zoom calls and Face Time interactions but we don’t get the touch and feel that is so necessary to our sanity.  And there seems to be no end in sight for hugging and touching until the virus is under control.  Hugging is how we express our love, our empathy, and care.  On top of all the warnings about touching, they tell us not to touch our face!  We can’t even touch ourselves in fear. 

I have decided to be more creative in my grieving process.  I know that I need to set some new rules to ease the process.   I will make my mantra “when this is all over” and dig deep in my heart to find the resilience and gratitude that I must honor in a global pandemic.

  • When this is all over, I will cherish my family more.
  • When this is all over, I will continue to say I love you to those who checked in on me.
  • When this is all over, I will be forever grateful for the 47 years I got to spend with my late husband.
  • When this is all over, I will value technology and how it kept me connected in the pandemic.
  • When this is all over, I will be utterly grateful to get a hug.
  • When this is all over, I will set great store in shaking someone’s hand.
  • When this is all over, I will cherish singing. For now, I am a mezzo soprano in the shower only!
  • When this is all over, I will unplug my phone for a day and feel the peace and quiet. Or maybe half a day.  😝
  • When this is all over, I will cherish good health.
  • When this is all over, I will be my own bestie and be extra-kind to myself.
  • When this is all over, I will be thankful for fresh air without a mask although the Broadway-themed Phantom of the Opera mask “I wore a mask before it was cool” is fun to wear.
  • When this is all over, I will try to remember and cherish the peace and quiet of the streets during the pandemic.
  • When this is all over, I will appreciate going to the movies and even seeing one with low Rotten Tomato ratings!
  • When this is all over, I will so value seeing a baseball, basketball, football, any kind of ball game. I’d even settle for watching a dog chase a ball!
  • When this is all over, I will savor the pleasure of dining indoors at a restaurant.
  • When this is all over, I will cherish going to live theatre.
  • When this is all over, I will be grateful to lift weights in a gym. OK, maybe not grateful, but thankful that I can work out without too many wipes.
  • When this is all over, I will drink an iced latte and walk the streets without a mask.
  • When this is all over, I will treasure the time the hairdresser washes my scalp! (who knew I would miss this, right?)
  • When this is all over, I will be so happy to sit in a doctor’s waiting room because it will mean that some kind of normalcy is back.
  • When this is all over, I will work to save the environment.
  • When this is all over, I will appreciate nature; smell the flowers; and pause to enjoy and savor each moment.
  • When this is all over, I will bow down and thank my doctors for their vigilant service.
  • When this is all over, I will be grateful that I am alive.

 

(Please send me your ideas for “when this is all over” gratitude moments to my website www.lauriegrad.com  I look forward to reading your ideas and I will publish them in another blog).

Gratitude is a pathway I can follow.  Even though I am looking towards the future to discover gratitude, I am finding my way towards a positive outlook by taking baby steps in the right direction.

Please feel free to contact me via my website: www.lauriegrad.com. If you would like to sign up for my blogs follow this link:
http://lauriegrad.com/newsletter-signup/

And if you would like to buy my new book: https://www.amazon.com/Jokes-Over-You-Come-Back/dp/1981137866/

 

 

 

 

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